Thursday, September 23, 2010

Baaa-aaaa!

A new diaper brand arrives on the scene. It's a lot like other diapers, but the name is catchy so, with building momentum, crowds of crunchinistas flock to it. For months it's nothing but hype, stalking, and raves. Then one day a single frustrated person creeps forward. What she has to say has been expressed before - quietly, unnoticed amid the excited chatter. But this time the magic is wearing off. When she proclaims, "Uh, this diaper kind of sucks," people are finally ready to hear. And, wonder of wonders, hundreds of other people agree. In fact, most of the devoted fans have been fantasizing about torching their P.O.S. diaper for months.

So how exactly does this happen? Why does it take ages for people to be realistic about their purchases? It's got to be the weirdest peer pressure chain reaction known to mankind.

"This diaper is so hot!"
"It's for sure the coolest thing out there."
"Yes, I LOVE mine!"
"Um, yeah, me, too. That's what I always reach for first. Uh, starting today."

Totally. Except for the part where it took 2 months to arrive, wicks like a mo-fo, takes three hours to dry, and a snap fell off in the first wash. But return emails are kind of prompt and pretty friendly, and everyone knows these are so fantastic that problems are to be expected.

What the frack? We should expect issues with hot items? Are you guys insane?!

Don't be sheep-headed morons, ladies. When something seems a little craptastic to you, don't hang in there because it's cool. I can't believe I'm having to point this out to adults, but if all your friends jumped off a cliff... maybe their shitty popular diapers will save them. You stay put up here on Mt. Reality, voice your actual opinion, and move on to something better.


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So. What diaper brand were you thinking of when reading this post? We have several in mind but would love to know what you think. What you really think.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Secrets don't make friends.

And neither does the truth. Might as well have the truth, then, don't you think?

If you're on this site, you already know how great cloth diapers are, so I'll spare you. If you've been a part of the cloth diaper community for very long, you may also be aware of all the drama these little crap catchers stir up. This blog is a no-holds-barred look at the entertaining world of cloth diapering.

The first thing we need, though, is dirt. Some sloppy, fetid dirt. That's where you come in. There's no point in pretending you don't enjoy tattling and stirring up a little shit. We do, too. Here is your chance to come cryin' to Mama without any of the other kids knowing. Email your info, links, rants, bitches, and suspicions to clothdiaperbword@yahoo.com. And you're welcome to complain and insult us, as well - 'cause we don't care what you think about us.

What kind of juicy details are we looking for? Well, our number one pet peeve - ok, one of our number ones - is a WAHM cover-up. We're not talking about the kind that keeps creepy Uncle Joe from eyeballing your tits while the baby nurses. We're talking about the occasional major WAHM pooch-screwing that gets tossed under the rug before too many people notice. Most of the time the business owner goes right back to work with no more than a handful of people being aware. We'd like to make that kind of gritty info very public. Get your rape whistles handy, girls, and let us know if you see anything going down. People have a right to know what kind of a track record a person or business has before they blow their fluff budget on crap.

For now we're going to leave you with a weekly offering we're naming "Troll Call." Get ready for some fine examples of homemade goodness. (If your work is on the list, don't blame us. Do better.)

1. http://hyenacart.com/prod_details.php?id=13772&vid=3802
If you're going to do a half-n-half outer, there's no reason why the print section can't be right side up.
2. http://www.etsy.com/listing/56000896/quilted-fall-ruffle-fitted-cloth-aio
Massive. Fail. Put that thing back on Grandma's guest bed.
3. http://www.etsy.com/listing/16819559/is-that-a-mouse-in-your-pocket
....or are you just happy to see me??
4. http://www.etsy.com/listing/42530290/skull-flannel-fitted-diaper-size-medium
Because every baby enjoys a laundry tab jabbing him in the back.
5. http://www.etsy.com/listing/47953317/wool-soaker
Is a matching rug for the mud room available?